• "Bwoah." - Generic Kimi Quotes.
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How about a little humor?

Discussion in 'GT Legends' started by Brian Harlow, Mar 19, 2013.

  1. Brian Harlow

    Brian Harlow

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    I don't see any thread for topical jokes going around, all in good taste, of course, as befits gentlemen racers!
    So, here's one to start it off, if that's OK with the Management?



    A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."



    The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'
    ... The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
    The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
    A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."
    The next day the grandmother died.
    "Holy crap" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."
    Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."
    He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.
    He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
    When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"
    He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
    She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"
     
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  2. Paul Bennett

    Paul Bennett
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    Removed
     
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  3. Roland

    Roland
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    :( Image doesn't show here.. :cry:
    I don't think it is possible to link directly to an image in an email message..:unsure:

    My english is not perfect either, but I guess it would show something like this:;)

    [EDIT] Image removed by request.
    Paul, next time you may wanna insert the image into your post rather than adding it as an attachment;) [/EDIT]
     
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  4. Paul Bennett

    Paul Bennett
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    Roland if you can see image now please remove yours :)
     
  5. Rupe Wilson

    Rupe Wilson
    Senior HistorX club driver Staff Premium

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    Good thread, but anyone posting please remember...
    As we are not behind closed doors and guests have access here. All jokes/ images should be suitable for all..:)
     
  6. Brian Harlow

    Brian Harlow

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    An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

    She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." She stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

    As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed... "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!"

    She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly parted.

    The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.

    Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

    MORAL OF THE STORY

    Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb.....

    But all men...Are men!
     
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  7. Stuart Thomson

    Stuart Thomson
    The Stoat Without Fear ™ Premium

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  8. Brian Harlow

    Brian Harlow

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  9. Stuart Thomson

    Stuart Thomson
    The Stoat Without Fear ™ Premium

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    I don't trust anyone who doesn't like The Dan.
     
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