F1 Jokes

[mystaaRS]

This thread is for F1 Jokes and it's purpose is for fun

I'll start with two jokes:

What slogan do you get when you combine Star Wars and F1?
"May the downforce be with you"

When was Michael Schumacher's first retirement?
1991 (Belgian Grand Prix)

 

[Bradley Vanian]

I know a good joke.

Taki Inoue's Career

 

[jibawakee]

What happens when you hit the wall at yas marina?
Oil spills out(terrible joke)

 

[Alexander Macdonald]

What happens when you press the KERS button on a Red Bull?

Nothing.

 

[AndrewBo]

Vettel and Alonso are in a desert. Evening comes, they set up their tent.
Both go to sleep. Alonso wakes up in the middle of the night.
Vettel isn't in the tent. He can hear something coming from outside the tent.
Alonso peeps out and sees Vettel running around the tent like crazy, a big lion after him...
Alonso: Run faster, he's gonna catch you!
Vettel: Don't worry, I lead by three laps...

---------------------------------------------
What have Formula 1 and women got in common?
Both are more interesting when they're wet.​

 

[AndrewBo]

 

[AndrewBo]

F1 : Regular cars are better

Reasons why regular cars are far superior than Formula One racing cars
No door... I mean, people have to climb in. Actually, ANYBODY can climb in and steal it. Pffft!
No roof... The people who drive these things are left open to the elements. Like, even convertible cars have something you can pull over your head.
No radio (AM and FM), no cassette nor CD player... how boring it must be to drive in those things for close to two hours without having anything to listen to.
No heating... Being left open to the elements, the drivers' toes must become very cold after a while.
No coffee cup holder... Those guys can spill all the hot (and dangerous stuff) over themselves. What with them steering with one hand and trying to drink with the other.
No ashtrays and electric lighter...
No windshield wipers... and they expect them to race in the rain?
No windshields... Well, I guess no. 7 and 8 go hand in hand.
No turn signals... How can they indicate they intend to pass?
No headlights... No wonder they only drive in the day time.
Only one brake light...
Only one seat... How can a guy go necking with his girlfriend at the local drive in?
No anchor for a baby seat... And they are trying to make us believe that safety comes first?
No trunk...
No adjustable seats... (mine goes back and forth, and can be tilted as well)
High fuel consumption...
Engines that don't last...
Tyres that just wear off in no time flat...
Where's the bloody ignition? I guess it's back to the old Model T days when the cars had to be crank started.

​

 

[AndrewBo]

Q: What’s the difference between Pastor Maldonado (<--clickit) and a bus driver?
A: One is a highly skilled professional driver, and the other is in Formula 1.
​

 

[mystaaRS]

What did one steering wheel say to another?

We have a race on our hands

 

[Dion Vais]

When was Michael Schumacher's first retirement?
1991 (Belgian Grand Prix)

Could someone explain this to as I wasn't around back then

 

[David Moorhead]

Just noticed this f1 jokes section.. Here's one..
Pastor Maldonado

 

[Ho3n3r]

Could someone explain this to as I wasn't around back then

It was his first race, and indeed also the first race he retired from

 

[Tony Holder]

*shakes Head*

 

[Nelson Ullinskey]

Back in the days of Nigel Mansell, the equivalent to DRS was a diet

 

[Salut Gilles]

----
What have Formula 1 and women got in common?
Both are more interesting when they're wet.​

Seen at a pre-GP VIP Party, after a few

LH to the hottest grid girl:
"Ummm...Show me your DRS, babe,
and I'll show you my ERS"
​

 

[realitychecked]

Guys, how do you forget Yuji Ide, he's the main man here.

 

[Darth]

If there's one thing I've learnt from Formula 1 over the past 15 years, it's the German national anthem.

 

[ajokay]

"F1"