World Cup Jokes

Nick Rowland

Aug 12, 2009
Oxo have brought out a limited edition stock cube for the World cup. It is a white cube with a red cross

They are calling it "The laughing stock cube"


The next England game is being shown on the Gay Adult channel now because the sight of 11 arse holes being hammered for 90mins is too explicit for terrestrial television


Watching the world cup is a bit like being married. You're supposed to enjoy it but there's this constant droning noise in the background


The England Team went to visit an Orphanage in South Africa today.

"it's nice to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible" said Jamal Umboto aged 6.


Fabio Capello today summoned the England fan who entered the team dressing room after Friday's game to the team hotel. It is understood Capello wants to check the availability of the only Englishman to beat a defence all night for Wednesday's crunch tie with Slovenia.


Overheard leaving Cape Towns' Green Point stadium on friday:

"It was shocking! How can we fail to beat such a poor team that is so toothless infront of goal? I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian tonight!"


Advice read over the tannoy at the end of fridays game for England fans:

"don't worry - you can always paint a red hand in the middle of your flags and support Graeme McDowell in the US Open"


Today Mexico meet Uruguay at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium

Tomorrow the U.S.A. meet Algeria in Preatoria

On Thursday England meet France at Johannesburg International Airport.

Ben Phillips

Apr 29, 2010
I asked Fabio Capello if he thought England would go 4-4-2 tomorrow, he replied "no, I think they will go 7-4-7, its bigger and offers more leg room"

Ryan Callan

Sep 30, 2008
For all those English who have just bought flags - it's OK, you can just Tippex out the red cross and sell them on to the French. (courtesy of Kris Vickers)