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The Darwin Awards - 2009

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Carlos Diaz, Feb 3, 2010.

  1. Carlos Diaz

    Carlos Diaz
    Happily driving a "girly" car

    The Darwin Awards - 2009

    Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
    bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

    Here is the glorious winner:

    1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during
    a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did
    something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
    the trigger again. This time it worked.

    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
    machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
    insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men
    to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
    The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
    blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
    space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
    found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
    Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
    driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
    ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
    staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
    The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
    wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
    injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
    could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
    and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled
    a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
    provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
    bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer.... $15
    [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
    just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
    and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
    window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head
    knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.
    The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
    her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able
    to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
    police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
    the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
    for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
    the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
    King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
    The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
    without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
    weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
    Seattle Street , he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
    the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
    spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
    steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
    tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying
    that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

    In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and
    family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant
    relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and
    hope they remain lost.

    *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***

    ***The gene pool needs a little chlorine****
  2. Ross Balfour

    Ross Balfour
    #99 | Roaring Pipes Maniacs

    HILARIOUS!! I especially love #3! Thanks for sharing Carlos!
  3. Rhys Gardiner

    Rhys Gardiner

    #9's my favourite. :D

    Thanks Carlos!
  4. Michael Herrmann

    Michael Herrmann

    #4 is pure ownage
  5. Omer Said

    Omer Said
    Weresloth Premium

    4 is my favorite also LOL!

    By they way the 9th one is same as in a movie of pyscho man. I forgot the movie's name. The Starring was Dustin Hoffman. He was trying to take his daughter from his ex-wife. The same scene happens in the movie. :D But with only one difference. He doesn't walk away. He gets what he wants. A Chesseburger :D
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