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Outside the 107% ~ Simon's Psychobabble #3

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Simon Smith, Nov 6, 2010.

  1. Simon Smith

    Simon Smith
    Always running at 107%

    It's the voices in my head... they made me do it!!! They shouted and screamed and talked in a language I don't understand. I had no choice... they abused the in game chat function... they had to go!
    It doesn't matter what type of racing game it is, iRacing, WRC - heck ModNation Racers - in every online game there is always one. You'll get the same in a cinema, in a class, in a two minute silence. There's always someone in the back row who just won't shut up! The latest baine of my sim racing life, aside from my wooden spoon collection constantly increasing, is that in game chat just takes the absolute mickey!

    Just today, I was introducing myself to the new WRC game from Black Bean (which is rather fun I must add) and popped online only to have my ears violated in all but a sexual nature by a Spaniad screaming "tallyhoooo" and laughing at high volume at everyone. He wasn't even winning. I don't even think he was actually racing. It was enough to put me off and I left the game only to join another one that had someones baby scream crying all the way through the race. Maybe it was sitting in a baby seat looking at the screen thinking it was all too real. Then again, maybe a baby could tell that WRC's graphics aren't the best and maybe it crying because it wasn't watching F1 2010 or GT5!

    It's a plague that follows me around as well. It's one of the reasons I struggle to race with iRacing too. In my first race ever I had to endure a thick accented Texan and a strongly accented Italian screaming insults at eachother for the entire race over something that happened on the formation lap. It was awful. Actually I take that back, there was a bit where the Italian attempted to swear but instead came out with something along the lines of "my mums the sim racing communties bike". I laughed, hit a wall and ruined my irating! They even shout insults during broadcasted races too sometimes. Race after race this would happen and eventually I'd just mute the entire game which is a cardinal sin for any blue flag lover like myself. Imagine the carage as my raging purple beast (that's my lovely car you dirty minded folk) rampantly forgets that its time to move over and turns in regardless. Oops.

    I was never a fan of the whole move aside thing anyway, its not as if you do it in a shopping market with shopping trolleys. As a half Scot, I embrace my stingy side! We know to shop at Tesco with 5 minutes to go until closing time, racing round grabbing the reduced food before everyone else can get their grubby little mits on it. You get trolley rage and ram the the buggers out the way! Sprint down the isle, grab the goods and slide round the corner and down the next one. All this for a bit of reduced trout.

    Talking of trouts , is it just in Essex that fat women, cigarette in one hand, mobile in the other, pushing their prams at you (not around you) make perfect candidates for kamikaze stock car racers? You just know in a game of chicken they'd win out everytime as they never get hurt, its the poor baby in the pram that cops it. Maybe they've missed their calling but anyway, I digress...

    Teamspeak and Ventrillo at least can help. With those programmes you can hear only exactly who you want to hear. It's been great fun to have my team in one channel, giving tactical advise. Usually we're all spaced out round the track and one can tell the others if someone's just spun so the drivers behind get a heads up at what hazards coming their way. That's how voice chat should work. Not having dribble children screaming "I pwn you" and shouting swear words. They should be given an automatic ban until their testicles have dropped. Then when they have, if they commit a repeat offense, we are given permission to kick them back up again.

    So why is it that some sado masochists have left out the option to turn the feature off in these games? I beg of you developers. For my own sanity! For everyones sanity. For my takeaway food bill, please add a mute feature and make it easily accessable!

    So now I've got that bee out of my bonnet (now the car will never start) I feel like I can return to my attempt of practicing for my league races relaxed and at ease. I don't know what it is about November but I always end up finding this month as a month of relfection on a sim racing year gone by, even if the years not already finished. I think I've really grown a lot as a driver this season. I led my first league race for a whole lap. In one league I race in, I'm ranked as the cleanest driver in the league and the only one to have finished and thus scored in every single race. It marks a stark contrast from my sim racing highlight of 2008 which gave me a 7th place finish in the FSR Winter Series Australian GP. I've compiled the highlights from my point of view of the broadcast. If you listen closely you can actually hear the cameraman/spotter laughing at me. All I can say is GO SNAILS! Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

    What have you been most proud of this year in your sim racing career? I'd be really interested to know. I wish you all a great weeks sim racing and look forward to reading you comments and taking part in the RDLMS broadcast this coming Saturday where takeaway bingo and all kinds of fun will be going on.

    Attached Files:

  2. Ivo Simons

    Ivo Simons

    Great read again. Maybe a good achievement for next simracing season. Start racing with a steering wheel. :cool: The clip hurted my eyes. ;)
  3. Mikael Hellen

    Mikael Hellen

    Absolutly great as always Simon :D
    Most proud of? My dedication in the leagues i take part in i would say and also the fact that i didnt DNF in a single race since the ranking system was born.Actually can't remember when i had a DNF in a race.
    Already looking forward to the next psycobabble :D
  4. Sami Pesari

    Sami Pesari

    Gotta love that video, being 6 laps down and still not giving up thats just awesome spirit i think that even i wouldve quit at that point :D
    And since you asked i think i must be very proud about my performance in FSR world trophy australian gp going on ''street circuit'' and making whole distance without any major issues when i still used to be that kid who crashes 80% of races he drives in
  5. Rhys Gardiner

    Rhys Gardiner

    Awesome article again. I suppose my proudest moment this year in my simracing career was finally coming back to the winner's circle after well over a year without winning a race. I still remember the specifics... it was WTCC 06/07 at the Bridgehampton circuit, and I was driving the Chevrolet Lacetti (ironically, a car which I despised). I managed to hold off Tyler Scurlock for the Race 2 win, and from then on, I've started winning heaps of races, which I'm really happy about.

    Thanks for trhe read again Simon, I love these columns. :)
  6. Adam Eggbeer

    Adam Eggbeer

    Great article again. Love the determination to finish a race even when you have been lapped multiple times. Best moment this year for me was winning my first championship in F1C after several years of trying.
  7. Chris Butcher

    Chris Butcher
    Red Bull Gridsters 2012 Champion

    And I look forward to joining you in the booth when we are inevitably are out of the race due to Toby losing his connection :p

    As always, great article, love it! Best sim racing moment for me so far has to be my first league event win 2 weeks ago in the Caterhams :)
  8. Ivo Simons

    Ivo Simons

    Best moment for me was i think the whole FPWS Season 3.
    Season 2 was decent with solid finishes but in Season 3 i found that extra bit. Resulting in wins, poles and 8 out of 9 races on the podium.
  9. Andreas Hultgren

    Andreas Hultgren

    Nice read, just as the last two :D Best moment, hm, havn't been very fast this year (lol, neither last year or the year before, or...) on track so must be the STC Sugo round this Black Cup when I was commentating. I felt very comfortable doing it, I am usually very nervous but not this time and I think it was noticable.