Make some confessions about yourself in this thread.

[Jax Humanhater]

I have come to realise that I am nice to everyone, but, if I feel that someone is getting in the way of realising my ambitions, I will be resentful towards them. Though, I should talk to them about not getting in the way of my ambition.

This is not a problem with people outside my family. I realised this whole time that I have treated my mother, brother, and sister poorly because they unintentionally traumatised me in my college days when I was recovering from a traumatic high school experience. They were trying to help me get past college, even though I didn't ask for their help and things always get worse when they try to help me when I don't ask for it. It was my fault for not communicating properly with them.

The thing is, I want a better relationship with them, but, sometimes, they do things that remind me of the trauma they caused and I feel angry towards them.

I love them, but, I have no desire to speak to them, call them, have a conversation with them, go out with them, or share anything with them about my life.

It will take time for me to get over this, but, I will not let this affect me anymore.

 

[Arne Dopudja]

I have never seen such thread on any forum, so awesome.

Where do I even start? Don't even know. I dropped out of college some 3 years ago, because I didn't like the path... Now I'm trying to get something done, but I'm incredibly lazy and procrastinating (I currently have some books under my face while i write this, and I still rather browse forums and do nothing. Right now I'm going for a job... a thing I also didnt have for a year now so the broken-ness has worn me out mentally and physically... depression, headaches, sickness... on the top that GF left me soon after I lost the job. ONly good thing is that I am a positive man, make others laught etc. etc.

Some backstory... Before I got my ex gf, I was going out with another one, and then she just left me out cold with another guy... Ok, I was heartbroken but my ex fixed that ofcourse. Now few months after the breakup, i got in touch with this one again, and we get along really, really well - best friend/want to hang out with you type of well, plus letting in on the mindset, ideas and so on. Naturally I got the feelings back for her guess what happened? Despite putting me on a pedestal, she opted for another girl. Cannot blame really, a heart wants what a heart wants, but I was again screwed over by the same person... in kinda the same way. Too bad this stuff happens to me, for I'm way too sensitive to be thrown around in such way. She was all "Geez, I thought you will never talk with me again." but I feel obsolete anyway so I don't really have anything to passionately talk about with her...

Guess its time to move on once more.

 

[Deleted member 177725]

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[Deleted member 177725]

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[Jax Humanhater]

My Confession

I've had some of my closest friends turn their back on me due to my Popularity from gaming.

I had 2 of my good friends try cash in on my fame, and it ended badly.

It hurts when you see your friends turn your back on you and you ain't got nothing but your word and your balls

Throw some money at people and see who comes your way.

Stop throwing and see who leaves.

 

[Arne Dopudja]

Then you ask yourself; Was I deceived the whole time?

 

[Deleted member 177725]

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[Jax Humanhater]

In other news, I am lonely here in Alabama. While there are a handful of people who are open-minded and share my struggle, with people here, I don't have what it takes to be friends with them. We have no common ground whatsoever, whether it's religion, politics, sports (especially motorsports), hobbies, interests, etc.

Also, I can't really find a woman here in Alabama or the entire Southeast, because there is a catch to them: half of them want to get laid and nothing else, the other half is interested in long-term relationships, but, half of the ones seeking long-term are short-sighted and the other half, while more conditioned for a long-term relationship, it will not work out because I do not share anything in common with them.

I hope to move to a big city because I will have better chances of finding a girl, there will be more like-minded people, and, there will be many opportunities. I hope I can move to Seattle, Portland, Chicago, or maybe even New York City (I would love to see the Yankees and the Knicks play).

 

[William Levesque]

I'm about to play Saya no Uta... Should be interesting. It's a... twisted Visual Novel.

 

[Jax Humanhater]

A few things to clear up.

1) Wherever I go on the Internet, I want every user to know me as the guy who loves St. Bernards. I want one, but, Alabama is too hot for them. That's one of the reasons I want to move somewhere cold. Anyway, looks like I have succeeded at my job and wherever I go on this forum, or any other forum, there is hardly anyone who likes those big dogs more than I do. All my avatars - past, present, and future - will be Saints. When I have my own, that one will be my avatar.

2) I have Aspergers' Syndrome, so, I'm a bit obsessive about a number of things, that post above being one of them, but, I have learn to manage it into something productive. Aspergers' patients have some abrasive and annoying (which I'll get to next) traits that make people loathe them. I had no social or communication skills growing up and my development as an individual was pervasive. I can make friends now, but, sometimes, I wonder if it's me or if people are selfish.

3) Am I annoying or am I surrounded by selfish people? Egalitarianism is a dying quality in human beings. Still, I will say I'm kinder than most people and, generally, I don't let hatred try to get to me. Hate should always be fought with love. But, I also feel some of my habits are repetitive.

I have posted much of this earlier in the thread. It's just me talking for the sake of it. Talking it out makes you feel better.

 

[Deleted member 177725]

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[Jax Humanhater]

http://www.youtube.com/user/JaclynGlenn

^That woman on YouTube is beautiful, intelligent, fun-loving, and open-minded. If there were more women like her, I would have a girlfriend already.

I would be even happier if she had red hair and she doesn't have to have this, but, it is a huge plus - blue or green eyes.

 

[Tom]

I have never seen such thread on any forum, so awesome.

There's one on GTP too.

Tom

 

[Deleted member 177725]

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[Jax Humanhater]

One of the most difficult things for a person to do is to listen more to the thoughts and issues of others and to speak less about themselves.

I want to be that person who listens more to others and speaks less about my own self.

It really easy to be self-absorbed, but, it's hard to be selfless.

 

[Jax Humanhater]

I don't really take it personally if people ignore my very person, I will acknowledge they and respect their very person.

Even if other people don't remember my birthday, I will always remember theirs and wish them a happy birthday, even if they are my worst enemy.

People don't remember the good deeds that I do everyday, but, I will always find good in others.

People don't always respond to my needs, but, I will always aim to help them to the best of my ability.

People don't understand where I am coming from, and, they will pass judgement on me; I will aim to understand what it's like in their shoes and spare they my judgement.

People may spend most of their time absorbed in themselves, but, I will aim to be selfless no matter what.

Even if people are not charitable, I will always be charitable whenever I can.

People may hold grudges towards me, but, I will aim to forgive they no matter what.

In the end, it makes me happy when I do kind things for others, even if others do not recognise it.

Onto another point; I am very happy about my life and what it brings to the table. I always want to do things to be proud of.

In terms of my world view, I am sad that people are living in poverty and killing each other.

I want to change all that, but the ideals of one man does not amount to the ideals of hundreds, thousands, millions, or billions.

 

[Jax Humanhater]

I am trying to be more careful of what I post.

I am a very expressive person because I don't have many friends who I can talk to regularly.

Whoever my friends are, they are very busy with their own lives while I am trying to get on my feet with being on disability.

Also, I wish I was good with people. I'm so lonely and it has been like this for since childhood. I always think I'm the problem, but, everybody says it is other peoples' problems.

If I didn't post such personal stuff on FB, people would be more accepting of me.

 

[Jax Humanhater]

For me, the storm will be violent before everything is calm.

I hope I can get my **** straight so I can study for my upcoming exam.

 

[Jax Humanhater]

Sometimes, I wish I could have gone into modeling.

The problem was my physique was never really great for much of my life and since I just reached a healthy weight at 24 years, I feel I have come of age.

 

[AndrewBo]