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'Twas the Racing Sim Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through my nest,
Not a sim was playing, not even Wreckfest;
The wheelbases were all left turned off and bare,
In hopes that a new wheel soon would be there.

It's probably time to retire to my bed,
But ideas for setup tweaks are dancing in my head;
As mamma looks at statements, her finger does tap,
You reminder her it came out of a bonus; “I promise, no cap”;

From force feedback clipping, there arose such a clatter,
I hit the Escape key, to see what was the matter.
Into the settings, my cursor flew like a flash,
I would get a DD, if I only had the cash.

I mapped ECU buttons, to change on the go,
What that actually does, I only pretend to know,
When, what to my sim racing eyes should appear,
A heavy square box, but what type is not yet clear,

A new Simucube wheel sure would be slick,
Or a DD2 base, those things are sick.
But my expectations will still need to be tame,
Because my gift might actually be something lame;

With new gear across the finish line I would fly,
Up high on my podium, to the rookies I'd say bye,
I'd feel so cool, with gear shiny and new,
Come to think of it, I might need racing gloves too.

Thinking of tin tops, yes cars with a roof
I can't focus on dinner, my attention is aloof.
Dreaming of my RSR driving round and round,
There is nothing better, than that sweet Porsche sound.

A nice racing boot would look nice on this foot,
But if none are coming, then my socks will stay put;
On Boxing Day, the Nordschleife I'll attack,
Using cars I bought, in a DLC pack.

Driving a stickshift will someday be merry,
But learning to blipshift sure can be scary!
What's the best looking sim car, I do not know,
But it definitely isn't the GT4 X-Bow;

Simming an F1 car can be so much work,
Each time it oversteers, the steering gets a jerk,
What's my next piece of sim gear, who really knows,
So with that said, I'll bring this poem to a close;

May your new sim gear be clean as a whistle,
May your car on track be fast as a missile.
May your holiday sim racing be full of delight,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!

(original poem by Clement Clarke Moore)
About author
Mike Smith
I have been obsessed with sim racing and racing games since the 1980's. My first taste of live auto racing was in 1988, and I couldn't get enough ever since. Lead writer for RaceDepartment, and owner of SimRacing604 and its YouTube channel. Favourite sims include Assetto Corsa Competizione, Assetto Corsa, rFactor 2, Automobilista 2, DiRT Rally 2 - On Twitter as @simracing604

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