So, what made you happy or laugh?

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Just did some cleaning on my desktop. How much crap did I have there :rolleyes:
 
When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never
met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no
pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The
police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings too.
 
Well it wasn't funny earlier but it is now. Earlier tonight the three of us went out for dinner. I grabbed a milkshake to go when we left the restaurant then we went for a drive. I didn't feel like driving so girlfriend drove while i enjoyed my shake. I got half way through my shake and decided to drink it with out the straw. We were stopped at the lights when i took the lid off my shake, light turns green,we go and just as i was having a gulp my girlfriend decided she didn't want to let a car in that was trying to sneak in from the suicide lane and nails the throttle in the truck.

It caught me off guard and because the cup was tilted in drinking position the shake came pouring out onto my face, down my shirt and on to my pants:mad: it ran down the inside of my shirt too!

"You just had to do that' is what i said as girlfriend looks at me with this :confused: look on her face then starts to laugh then her little girl starts to laugh because her mom is laughing.:(

Little ones payback for me laughing at her when she spilled a bowl of pancake mix on herself.
 
I turn on the tv to watch the support races of F1 weekend (GP3 and Porsche Supercup) and the commentary is changed from english to russian (which i don't understand). I say to myself: ok.... let's change the language with the remote and everything will alright, right? Wrong. I change the language, but it's still russian which I still don't understand. I'm :cry::roflmao: :cry::roflmao: . Why to change the language of an International channel?​
WHY? WHAT THE HELL?
 

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